After effects of The Now or Never Concert

Published On: 2012-04-24

Author: Reena

Media Link:

Reena spots Hrithik in Johannesburg, South Africa

Finally here I am with my bit of news. First of all my sincerest apologies to all of you that this is so late, this is Now or Never news, and I apologise for keeping it to myself for all this time, a whole MONTH actually! Personally, I myself am not sure how I did it! : ) So, how can I, who didn't go to the concert, have Now or Never news? Well, I haven't exactly got concert news, but Durban wasn't the only place where a DUexperience could happen! : ) 

First of all let me say to Ameeta von Delft, my DEAR Ameeta, how can I EVER Thank you enough! From the first day of reading my messages this DEAR DEAR lady has been thinking of me every time any thought of the concert came to her mind. At least it seems that way to me considering how much she tried to help me. And all this when she has absolutely no idea who I am other than that I am a fellow Dufan at this club, and despite even that we haven't even come across each other even at the club, before this concert news came up. Despite all this she treated me like a longtime friend and has been coming up with suggestion after suggestion - even offering that I should come join HER family in going to the concert if I needed company! - of ways in which I could come down to Durban, or to get to see Hrithik here in Joburg airport. Time after time, again and again, she NEVER stopped thinking about me. God bless you Ameeta! I can't believe what a selfless and wonderfully kind person you are, I really dunno what else to say to you. Your family and friends are lucky to know you, I'm proud to have had any connection to you at all in these past few days. I hope you read this message, because although it isn't quite what we expected or planned for, these are the fruits of your labour, this following GORGEOUS experience happened thanks to YOU Ameeta! And I am eternally grateful! MWAH!! : ) 

So what am I going on about? Well, isn't it obvious!!! Ok maybe not… I SAW HRITHIK YAAAR!!!! (OH GOSH! If you could only see how INSTANTLY this BIG GRIN appears on my face when I type that sentence! Damn Life is GOOD! : ) )

(Even to myself I said) Oh My GOD!!! I saw Hrithik!!! GOD!!! You're KIDDING ME!!! NO! I'm SERIOUS! I SAW him!!! AGAIN!! FREEEAK!!! Is this For REAL!!! GEEEZ!! I actually saw Hrithik again!! ME!! Sorry but I'm still very starstruck! This isn't registering very well! What's happening to me?! Gosh, how come all these freaking AMAZING things are happening to me! Its bloody INCREDIBLE! HA! HA! HA! GOSH! Ok calm down let me tell you calmly, from the beginning...

I tried my best to take Ameeta's advice where I could, but not all of it was possible, still I consoled myself that if anything was meant to be it would happen. And if I wasn't meant to be in Durban, I just wasn't meant to be in Durban. Its incredible how true that became. Ameeta when I saw your message - too late - that I should quickly go to Joburg airport cos they were all arriving here first, I decided I'd seen the message just a FEW HOURS too late because it just wasn't meant to be... And then, I saw your message that I should try get to the airport on the Sunday after the concert! I saw it on Saturday! The day of the concert! This time it WASN'T too late! And I thought to myself, "if it wasn't meant to be, how come I made it just in time to see this message?"! I just HAD to try my luck, at least I'd know I'd tried! I searched the Net (SAA website) to find out what time the flight to Mumbai was - assuming South African Airways cos it's a direct flight, and cos I know they came by SAA. Knowing that they could check in for their flight at any amount of time - some 3 or 4 hours before their flight if they wanted to, it just wasn't a specific enough time to convince my father... Dunno why I wasted so much time working it all out in my mind, until only after MIDNIGHT (I was watching a movie on tv while going through all this in my mind) did it occur to me to call the airport to find out what time their flight from DURBAN was coming to Joburg!

I swear, it was 12:30am!!! Already that MORNING! When (my whole family was asleep) I called the airport! I think the kind lady must've guessed from my weird questions, that I was a crazed fan! HA! HA! Well she informed me that the flight from Joburg to Mumbai was at 11:40am and in order to make it for that flight, the first flight from Durban to Joburg was at 7:40am. MY GOD! There WAS TIME!!! It wasn't at some ungodly time! There WAS time not only for them to make it to catch that flight after the concert, but there was ALSO time for ME to get to the airport when they came! Oh God!! 

It was certainly no time to call my parents and ask for permission so of course I went to bed. Not in ANY condition to fall asleep with all the wild FRANTIC TORTURE going through my mind! ONCE AGAIN! (For those of you that don't you, I went through this once before when Hrithik came to IIFA 2001 in SA.) Bouncing from one extreme emotion to the other! It CAN'T be good for one's health I tell you! Once again! That feeling of being sooo CLOSE and yet so far! That telling myself to not get my hopes up but not being able to HELP imagining the thought of REALLY MEETING him and getting sooo EXCITED at the thought! And then once again trying to calm my totally out-of-control imagination! Oh gosh, the extreme TORTOURE of HOPE! I lay there calculating and recalculating the possibility of them really coming by that flight - if the concert lasted 5hrs (I didn't know then that it actually lasted close to 7hrs!) from 7pm the previous evening, they could manage to squeeze in 4hrs of sleep (maximum) and still make it in time for this flight...

Going through my head over and over again all the articles I read that said that they'd all leave SA the very next day, Ameeta's confident information that they would leave on Sunday, the fact that there was only one flight from Joburg to Mumbai on Sunday and that was at 11:40am, the fact that they had to get to Joburg 3hrs before that to check in, they just HAD to be on that 7:40am flight from Durban... And yet I went over it again and again and again. And of course I also calculated the fact that we surely needed at least 40mins to get to the airport, and it was a Sunday morning! No one in their right minds would get up any earlier than 6 o` clock (and that itself is EXTREME hoping!) on a relaxed Sunday morning! So that gave me MAXIMUM one hour within which I had to somehow, SOMEHOW - I'd just HAVE to - convince my parents, get dressed and ready, and out of the house heading for the airport. And that's on condition that someone would listen to my PASSIONATE PRAYING that they WOULD wake up at 6 in the first place! 

AND of course I also had to consider and re-consider the possibility that they'd hopefully NOT go straight to check-in gates through the inner airport? I HAD to hope that there was no way to go to international check-in from domestic arrivals without coming out into public areas. (The airport lady I'd phoned had reassured me of this but I hadn't mentioned to her that I was asking about celebrities.) 

Oh GOSH! So many conditions, so many things had to fall into place! WHAT were the chances! But the point is the chances WERE THERE! And I HAD to TRY! GOSH how MANY NUMEROUS times I went through it all over and over and over again in my mind! And of course lets not forget the rehearsals and re-rehearsals of what arguments I'd give my parents in answer to their inevitable, cynical disapproving of even the suggestion of anything of this sort! God help me! Forget being able to sleep, my mind was like live-wire!!! I was close to HYSTERIA with tension and anticipation and anxiety! FREEEAK! WHAT have I ever done wrong! WHY MEEEEE! AGAIN! OH WHAT TORTURE! My POOR MIND!!! I swear!! 

I dug around for the alarm clock in the dark (so I wouldn't wake my sister in the same room) so I wouldn't do the ultimate UNTHINAKABLE and oversleep through it myself! HA! HA! HA! I needn't have worried! I was awake till at least 1:30am, 1 whole hr of just lying there and trying to calm my nerves, I managed to sleep for 3 fitful hours before I awoke even before the alarm, and the torture began again! Geez! 4:30am and I started praying all over again that a dozen things would happen like I hoped! After half an hour of the unbearable torture I decided to get up and brush my teeth etc, maybe our very noisy water pipes - when taps are running - would help wake my parents! ; ) I was back in bed at a few minutes to 6, fresh and ready to jump out at the first hint of their waking, sill praying that the early sunrise on this summer morning would also help wake them! THANK GOD at exactly 6am I heard movements in their room! (Truly a small miracle on its own cos just this last Sunday
they'd only woken at 8!!) 

HALLELUJAH! First condition fell in place! As soon as they were up and about - albeit slowly and lazily, it being only a Sunday morning - I calmly and as subtly as possible prepared to present my case. Of course subtle was not very possible cos they just about died of shock that I was awake so early! Me that hardly gets up at 9am on a weekend! So I had to get to the point fast. OF COURSE they freaked out. Need I say more than that I somehow found the strength to calmly - getting hysterical COULDN't help my cause right then! The tears would have to wait! - and diplomatically present each argument to counter each of their objections, and yet showing absolute steel, determination and stubbornness that made it clear I
wasn't going to accept a no! 

Interestingly my cynical father said he didn't have time to waste on such nonsense, but he said "you all go, tell your sister to take you"! (I'm still not allowed to drive alone, its beyond me why) OH NO! That was NOT part of the plan cos it was already 20 past 6 and my sister wasn't even awake! I'd planned to leave her behind! Well, she values her 10hr sleep very much and ended up giving me the MOST grief, the usual "And all of us must change all our plans and do all of this just for YOU?! AGAIN?!" As I said, the tears had to wait for later. I think it should be obvious now to all those who helped with the disagreement I had with my parents, where it all began, where it all came from! But now you all tell me, how could I pass up this opportunity in fear of my parents wrath? 

Anyways forget the bad stuff, I convinced my reluctant sister and mother, who also came with, and even made it to the airport just in time. It didn't help in the least to find when we got there, that not only were there absolutely no one interesting in the arrivals passengers, but also that there were quite a FEW flights coming from Durban that morning! Some more calculations and I decided that hopefully all but one flight (the next one, arriving at 8:50am) would get here too late for them to check-in in time for the international flight. Of course I had to also take into account that my mother and sister had no intention of waiting any more than one more hour! 

I have to say it wasn't very encouraging that there didn't seem to be any other fans there to receive them! And I thought "Don't think about that, maybe they just don't know..." 8:50, 9am came and went, we scanned the faces of each arrivals passenger in anticipation and disappointment. As the last of them trickled in, my mother said, "Ok,let's go home." 

She walked over to my uninterested and irritated sister who was as eager to get home, leaving me behind at the arrivals gate still hoping against hope, and willing to try one last option before we left: I walked up to a airhostess that'd just arrived on that flight. Did she know anything about a group of Indian actors coming from Durban. "Yes." YES?!??! OH GOD! "They were on this flight." On THIS flight?! REALLY?! - OK I didn't really say all this I tried to stay calm and asked if she knew where they were now. "Let me go ask this guy (pointing to someone) and find out for you." GOD BLESS her! What a kind lady! She was immediately kind and friendly and offered help almost before I asked! I am indebted to such people who do these small but so kind deeds for me! They make life that much easier and more pleasant! Thank God for them! Anyway its only then that I realised that another young couple there with their little kid, were also star-gazing! HA! HA! HA! Of course I immediately signalled to my mother and sister. And the young couple and I waited for the air-hostess. 

When she kindly informed us that the stars had gone straight to the Arrivals Lounge, we all headed for it together! Amazing how people who were complete strangers just moments before become like your closest friends when such common interests bring us together! The camaraderie, and mutual help between us were like we'd come from the same home and same family, just cos we were there for the same purpose! It was great, Thank God for them too, cos we walked up and down elevators lifts, reception, information and arrival areas before we finally got to the right place, the State Protocol or VIP lounge. I say again Thank God for all the airport staff who we stopped in mid-step - some more than once or twice! - to ask info about the stars, they were all not only sooo helpful but also kind, friendly and understanding towards our state of mind. God Bless them all (at least 5 people) without whose small favours we would've got literally NOwhere. A small favour is always bigger than it seems and I'm once again indebted to their kindness, thanks to which I had an experience I will not forget. : ) 

We stood outside the VIP lounge in anticipation for AT least an hour if not more, having been told by airport staff that went in to check for us, that they definitely were planning to come out that way, even if there was another way to reach the check-in gates. Actually I can't believe we waited for more than an hour cos my nerves were so on-edge the whole time, my finger ready on my camera button for so long, I (we all) paced up and down that long corridor soooo many times it's a wonder we didn't wear off the soles of our shoes! All that interspersed with nervous but excited bits of conversation - Wondering even, if we should buy bouquets from a nearby flower-shop! HA! HA! HA! - and the occasional reassurance from passing airport staff that we would see them. Oh and I assure you my mother and sisters moods were now much-improved! HA! HA! HA! Such anticipation for such prolonged a period of time Can (once again) NOT be good for the health! But, it was all well worth the wait...

I still dunno the name of that DEAR lady (the young couple I'd mentioned) who was pushing her fed-up little boy in his stroller up the corridor (while we were at the other end) when she turned around and SCREAMED to us "HRITHIK!!!" WHAT?! I turned around and there HE IS! walking RIGHT PAST the lady! HOW does that HAPPEN!!? The ONE person I want to see! AH! God Bless you LADY, for CALLING us!!! NEED I say that after what seemed like hours, and yet only minutes, when I turned around to immediately see our very own Duggu walking right past the lady, I just RAN!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! By now one other large family had arrived to star-gaze and we all kinda swooped in. It was a long corridor and at the end of it, you turned a corner into the short leg of another passage, at the end of which was a glass door, on the other side of which was a small area (restricted to us by signs) where the stars were gathering. 

As I ran towards them I watched Hrithik himself calmly and coolly walk back in past the door, where Suzanne was waiting for him and he joined her to wait. Need I say that I was trying VERY hard not to get hysterical and cause a commotion but I was already BESIDE myself, very close to hysteria! Continuously muttering "Oh My
God! DEAR GOD! OH FREAK! Oh God! I can't handle this! GOD HELP ME! Oh My God!" (I'm standing in front of HRITHIK FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!) Need I say that I was SHAKING like HELL! My hands and legs were shaking so violently that I could hardly STAND! It's a wonder my knees didn't buckle (I thought "going weak at the knees" was just a __expression dammit! believe me, its NOT!! HA! HA! HA!) and I didn't collapse in a heap on the floor! HA! HA! HA! Need I say that I immediately pulled out my autograph book and pen even though they were still a few metres away, need I say, that even while doing that, through it all, I couldn't bring myself to take my EYES OFF him!!! I did everything without looking away! I REFUSED to! HA! HA! HA! OH WOW! 

The door opening was very wide and the doors were glass so even though he was inside and we were standing just on the outside of the restricted area, we could see him very clearly and closely. I remember being at the front of the group, I think I was, but honestly I wasn't even aware of anyone else, just Hrithik! And Suzanne next to him! I was hardly 3metres in front of him, again!! WOW!!! And this time it wasn't a passing glimpse, he just stood there, going to Suzanne who was waiting there and then turning around to face us again, both kinda leaning on the wall behind them, just talking to each other and watching us, as if they were saying (we couldn't actually hear) "it isn't so bad, we could go out, but dunno what the others will decide." I mean I was standing AT THE DOOR!!! For a good FEW MINUTES!!! And for God's sake he was actually LOOKING OUR WAY!!!! It felt like he was looking AT MEEE!!! FREEEEEEEAK!!!!!! HA! HA! HA! 

And can I tell you he LOOKED GODDAMN INCREDIBLE!!!!! I cannot TELL you how MUCH! Did I forget to say, somewhere within this time I managed to gather the calm it took to take a photo of the two, but my hands were shaking so much that it took a lifetime to click the button once! Hence I decided to give up after one, and not waste the precious time looking at them through a tiny camera viewfinder when I could instead see them with my own bare eyes! WOW is all I can say! They were standing there for a good couple of minutes! MY HRITHIK! AGAIN!!! Just STANDING there with Suzanne!!!! FREAK! HRITHIK girl! Hrithik Roshan IN FRONT of me! 

He was the first star that came out, having just a few moments ago, just walked right out before he went back in, as if surveying the area to see if there was a mob of fans waiting for them. Of course by now all those of us there had converged on them and surrounded the door, although in comparison to what I (and they I'm sure) have seen before it was a very small group, maybe 12-15 people. Still we were behaving excitable enough for the security to swoop in and for the stars to go back in and almost huddle in the safety of their group. There was another older guy standing with them (not talking but with them) that I didn't recognise.

By now the security were already saying to us to move back, make way etc, but we we'd like take a inch towards moving and then just stand there rooted, completely mesmerised! HA! HA! HA! After a couple of minutes Rani (YES! Mukherjee!) showed up (there was another wall blocking our view of wherever they were coming from) and joined them. Infact she just about walked right towards us as if to walk out the door (as if thinking of the others, "why're you guys just standing there, aren't we leaving") but stopped short as soon as she saw the group of people (us) outside, a look of "Oh, that's why" on her face, and IMMEDIATELY did a about turn and either stayed with Hrithik and Suzanne or walked back in, not sure cos next thing you know AMITJI SHOWED UP!!!!!! FREEEEEEAK!!! My IMMEDIATE reaction (as well as as my sister's and the woman's next to her) when I saw him was saying "DEAR GOD!!!" HA! HA! HA! And the funniest part, is that my sister next to me and the other woman next to both of us ALL said "OH MY GOD!" At the EXACT same time!!! HA! HA! HA! 

You know, it was such a feeling of "MY GOD!!! Is this FOR REAL!!!!" I can't HANDLE this!! Now I don't even remember seeing him walk out, all I remember is the next thing you know AMITJI was standing IN FRONT of US!!!! Even closer to the door than Hrithik and Suzanne (cos they were against the wall behind him)! I could HEAR him YAAAR!!! FREEAK!!! BLOODY SURREAL I SWEAR!!! That voice, that deep baritone, hearing it in the flesh (he looked EXACTLY like on tv by the way, wearing a white jersey), at such close proximity that we needed no mike to hear it! I TELL YOU! He was talking to the security by the way, we quite clearly heard him saying "We've been performing all night, we're tired" can't remember now if I heard anymore but he was obviously saying there were in no mood to be mobbed. 

And that's where everything started going wrong. OH well, I guess it couldn't last forever! HA! HA! HA! The security insisted we moved back, so we moved away from the door but only to the corner of the corridor so we could still see them, but then they insisted we move even more back (I dunno why, cos it was a wide corridor and there were hardly that many of us, we could've just stood by the sides!) but they insisted that if we moved right to the end of the very long corridor (where the door behind which the stars were standing was now completely out of sight) and behaved ourselves, the stars would definitely walk through that way, past us, and wave etc. This is the security that was assuring us of all this, even saying 'we'll even tell them to walk slowly'. 

I dunno why we believed them I tell you! They were themselves talking as if the stars were some kinda circus freaks or something that were on display or something! But in the excitement of the moment we obediently stood back and waited in extreme anticipation for a few minutes, wondering what was taking so long, thinking "Ok this is ridiculous, if they're taking this long to decide, we may as well have stood where we could see them all this time (maybe then we'd have seen all 7 of the others TOO!
AARGH!) It was also ridiculous cos the more we waited, the more our crowd was increasing. Anyway before we knew what was happening the security was saying that they'd decided to leave through the inner gates without coming past us, and were leaving! And with our loud protests of "WHAT?! BUT YOU SAID! TELL THEM PLEASE!!!!" we saw and heard another security guy at the end of the corridor saying kinda loudly and desperately "Wait! Sir they're all waiting for you. Mr BACHCHAN..." And it was clear from his voice, without even seeing them, that they were gone. We actually went closer again to look, no one stopped us anymore, and indeed the place was empty, they were gone, you should've heard us, asking the security "WHY! HOW can you let them go! HOW could you do that to us!" That other kinda lady with the toddler saying "We've been here since 8 o' clock! How can you be so CRUEL!" HA! HA! HA! Oh gosh... I guess Amitji was not impressed with any drama of any sort and the others were clearly willing to do whatever he said. And so that ended. Me my sis and mother continued to wait at least another half an hour just in case it was a ploy to get rid of us, cos our crowd was immediately dispersing. But we were the last to leave, only after checking with another airport official who went in to check, and came out to confirm for us that they were already checked in and at duty-free shopping. All the lucky fools that were on that flight WITH them... Sigh... HA! HA! HA!

Ok ok I admit I wasn't REALLY sad at all!!! HA! HA! HA! Are you kidding! It was incredible! It was like, really, like stepping into another WORLD, and stepping out again... Its like stepping into a world of REAL MAGIC for a moment... like stepping into a world of fantasy... like taking a peep into HEAVEN for a moment... or, like stepping into a DREAM!!! : ) WOW I tell you! MAGIC! PURE MAGIC! I can't explain the feeling! Its just so UNREAL! Even days later, it just wouldn't register that it really happened! Its truly like I stepped into a dream! Totally MAGIC! A INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE! Its somehow, like entering a world we're not supposed to be in! a world where stars roam free! A world we managed to step into for a few minutes and get a peep of, before we stepped out again and now we really can't even believe that it really happened! Except... the stardust is still on you, and you can still feel your whole body tingling with the magic... even days later! : ) WOW! The magic, I tell YOU! WHat a FEELING! Being in Hrithik's presence! WOW! And I keep using the word 'magic', because I dunno how else to describe the feeling, and believe me, its JUST A WORD, until you actually FEEL it! WOOOW!!! : ) And since I have, I'll say again, what A MAGICAL experience! : ) Its Quite overwhelming actually! Standing there, you just don't know WHAT TO DO!! HA! HA! HA! 

It was the first time we were seeing Amitji, so thats what my sister couldn't get over, for me it was STILL Hrithik! For DAYS later we walked around completely STAR-STRUCK! We'd often be going into a daze and when we came out of it and looked at each other, we wouldn't even have to say anything before we both just KNEW what we were thinking about! And we'd both say the same thing: "I just keep re-living it again and again, I keep thinking, did that REALLY happen to me! I can't believe we were really standing there, right in front of these amazing people!!! OH GOSH IF ONLY we hadn't listened to the stupid security! SO CLOSE and yet SO FAR!!!" HA! HA! HA! But disappointment couldn't come into it for me, I saw the ONE person that mattered THE MOST. AGAIN! I couldn't ask for more! : ) Although we WERE sooo close to seeing all 10 stars in one place, soo close! Sigh... HA! HA! HA!

Ok now seeing Hrithik in the flesh also came with a whole myriad of emotions that no one had warned me of before. I suppose I should've known, guess I'd forgotten since IIFA 2001. Well let me share them with you. First of all, let me tell you that I was rather SHELLSHOCKED at how good-looking Hrithik is! I am NOT kidding you!!! I SWEAR I didn't know it was PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE for a human being to be sooooo GOOD-LOOKING! I know that doesn't make sense but I tell you, he's good-looking BEYOND WORDS. UNBELIEVABLE! I don't whether it was just a good day or something but I tell you no picture or film EVER has done justice to how he looked right there in front of my own eyes! I swear I came home and looked at both the posters I have up on my wall, in which I've always thought he looked damn gorgeous, but then that day, I came home and thought, the person in those posters don't even LOOK like him! They do Absolutely NO justice! I SWEAR! Cross my heart and hope to die! And I'm not even being biased cos I so couldn't BELIEVE it that we were talking about it with the others, when we had to move back and were waiting for them to come by. And my sister, mother, this other woman there, we all agreed he looks BLOODY AMAZING YAAAR!!! I'm especially surprised cos of how much Duangels has said about him not being goodlooking when she saw him in the flesh, and that he looks good in films etc cos he's very photogenic. But then I remember thinking he looked incredible at IIFA too... Well I tell you, now I'm starting to think he's NOT photogenic! Unless he wears make up or something even when he's just walking around like he was then! But I doubt it cos obviously he's wearing make up in films/photo shoots and from what I saw they're making him look WORSE! I swear in the flesh he just BLOWS YOUR MIND! 

I dunno how to describe it, nor can I tell what/why it is... I was thinking about it, trying to figure out what it was but... Was it his clothes? - if I remember right (I'm terrible at remembering clothes) he was wearing a casual (black or dark denim) jacket and blue jeans. Was it just that he was so well dressed - even though in simple casual clothes, they look really good and stylish on him - and that had a positive effect on general appearance? Was it that he's just in such good shape, and any man in really good shape looks amazing to my eye? Was it that he just generally looks so well-groomed - really, he has the nicest neat, tidy, fresh look ever! Even in simple clothes, they fit well, look good on him, he carries himself and his clothes so well, he has a very very clean cut, neat, fresh look. I dunno, I'm just repeating myself in an effort to explain but I still dunno how. What was it? I dunno but I tell you he seems to RADIATE! (I mean his face.) I swear, I know that makes NO sense but I dunno how else to describe it! Its like there's light coming out of his skin! I KNOW I KNOW! That sounds completely LUNATIC, I know that, but I SWEAR it, I'm not kidding you, I watched him walk around and stand there for a good few mintues, I TELL YOU, the man seems to RADIATE light! and beauty! I tell you he GLOWS! there's just this radiance about him somehow! He looks like a little piece of heaven! Like an angel that just fell out of heaven! Like MAGIC! : ) Just BEAUTIFUL beyond words! 

Oh and I assure you, Suzanne too is sooooooo BEAUTIFUL! I can hardly get over how REAL they were, which sounds stupid I know! Gosh! She was also wearing a casual top with denim skirt. She looked sooooo sweeeeet standing there next to Hrithik! I tell you they make a GORGEOUS couple! But we all knew that huh! But actually seeing them FOR REAL in the FLESH, just standing there, next to each other, in front of ME!!! Gosh I can still hardly believe it even though I can picture them sooo clearly in my mind! My very own Hrithik and Suzanne!!!! OH GOSHNESS!!! HA! HA! HA!

And indeed how REAL they were was another thing that was just soooo hard to digest! How absolutely NORMAL, how HUMAN he was! I know that doesn't make any sense either, OF COURSE he's human, and God knows I try so hard to remember that! But it appears I'm less successful than I thought I was! And anyway I think as much as I try, all I succeed in doing is remembering that he's a normal human with feelings and a family and everyday activity, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty mundane of life. Something as ordinary as seeing him just walking, standing around, talking to Suzanne, just so casually, so completely natural! It just didn't GEL with that superstar! I mean I can't digest that they're one and the same person! I mean, Hrithik Roshan JUST casually HANGING around!! (Suzanne Roshan actually leaning on the wall!) GEEZ! For goodness sake that's something I WOULD DO! HA! HA! HA! I know that sounds completely crazy but like I said its one of the extremely weird feelings/thoughts that came with seeing him that I so wasn't expecting! I tell you its completely impossible to digest that that normal person, and Hrithik Roshan, the movie star, is the same person! 

I mean, just two days later (I watched K3G on New Years 2 days after this experience), again seeing that larger-than-life person on screen, and trying to associate that screen persona with the guy I saw! Yaar it just doesn't GEL!! Watching him on tv after that I realised, my gosh, Its so FAKE! ALL of it! Even the posters poses! That's not him! Even in physique that person that seems somehow so huge on tv is actually quite small! I mean, no not small, but I mean he's NORMAL! Of COURSE he is, I know... but somehow when he's standing in front of you it still seems so hard to digest. I know I don't make sense, I dunno how it explain it... He's only about as tall as any average tall person, those broad shoulders and gorgeous physique that look WOW on tv (well, he IS in VERY good shape but) as good as ANY guy who works out really hard! But then looking at that absolutely totally WOW face (I SWEAR he SHINES!!! Fine, don't believe me! : ) ) and KNOWING that THIS is Hrithik Roshan, in the flesh! and I (ME!) am STANDING in his PRESENCE! Mmmmm WOW... : ) Ok sorry, I was saying, Its so hard to digest that that UTTERLY ORDINARY - although breathtakingly good-looking, DROP DEAD gorgeous indeed - young man SO LIKE ME is the same larger than life person on screen! I tell you, that was a extremely weird feeling... I wonder, what is it about TV/posters that makes these normal humans look so unreal, so godly, so larger than life? Cos I tell you the real and tv persons JUST DO NOT GEL!!

Anyway another weird thing now is realising that I was standing in front of this man that means SO MUCH to me and I just stood there and LOOVED! I didn't do ANYthing! No screaming, no waving, no fighting security to try and get to him (No one did)! Ha! Ha! Ha! I just STOOD! I mean the security probably would've tackled me but I didn't even try, I was toooo damn dumb-struck I didn't know WHAT to do! I mean I was THAT close to him, and really nothing stopping me from entering "their space" (it was almost like they were standing behind that door for protection, like the door was a boundary we weren't allowed to cross and they knew that we knew that, even though it was wide open!) but decency. I mean MAYBE the security would've let one person through but that'd have been unfair to the people behind me and if they'd followed me in, that'd have been unfair to the stars! I mean if you think about it, all they wanted to do was go home after a exhausting night, walk through the airport to check in, and even there, here's us trying to mob them! 

But then, now that I think about it I was SO CLOSE to him, with nothing between him and me - except a invisible boundary and the possibility of security men tackling me! - and yet, I had absolutely no contact with him! No spoken word, no touch, no handshake, no wave, no smile, no chance to tell him about he club, no NOTHING! SO close and yet no contact! NO communication! At the time it was all just too overwhelming, but now. Now I'm thinking I wish I'd written a note, that wouldn't have broken any rules, I'm sure the security wouldn't have minded passing on a note, and especially since I'd wanted to say so much to him! - to ask if the concert went well, to thank him for coming, to wish him a safe journey, to wish him a Happy New Year, to tell him about the club!!! Oh I so wish I'd thought of that earlier, at least I'd have had SOME contact then, but who knew I'd get SO CLOSE! I mean he was in FRONT of me, not even a guard or two were between us! The guards were just casually scattered around, not expecting any problem - but I'm sure they'd have stopped me if I'd tried - so there was just nothing and NO one between me and Hrithik, but somehow I just couldn't do anything! I tell you!!!!! 

Ah yes, now I get to a part that was as hard to digest but also not so pleasant. Geez, who knew seeing him would cause so many mixed emotions! And it did indeed involve some confusing emotions. There WAS a disappointing bit. I soon got over it but for a while... what was hard was standing there, sooo close, and looking at him, and seeing this amazing person that I sooooo love, so adoooooore, this man that I spend hours and hours on the internet, at a fanclub, raising/defending/supporting/LOVING, being a absolutely dedicated fan to, this man that literally has affected my life in sooo many ways, who I feel totally indebted to, who I just feel sooooo MUCH for. Standing there looking at this man that I feel THAT much for, standing there LOVING him, and seeing him look back at me and KNOWING - cos I could see it in his face - that all he was seeing was a face in the crowd, a complete STRANGER, a completely unknown and insignificant person that makes absolutely no difference to his life. THAT was very very hard to digest. Silly I know but it was bloody weird. To him I was just another stranger, another so-called fan, whats one from the next. Yet to me, seeing him and Suzanne meant EVERYTHING! Gosh... Of course I had no kind of sign on me that showed that I wasn't a fan of any of the other 9 stars that came with him, I had no sign on me that showed what a CRAZED fan I am of HRITHIK's, it only showed on my heart. : ) So he couldn't have known, but it was still soooo heartbreaking... There was a moment when both of them were just looking at us, to me it seemed like they were looking at ME! WOW! But I could do NOTHING! I swear, for days after that day, every time I looked myself in the mirror I wondered what he was seeing... I didn't see me, I saw the stranger that he must've seen... Phew. Of course I understand that there's no way he could've known me, or picked me out from any number of other people, or any way for him to have smelled out that I was a huge fan, that's why I soon got over it. I figured, the day I get to TALK to him, I'll tell him all he needs to know, and then he's bound to at least be grateful! : )

I even felt guilty in a way cos the whole situation was a bit like they were a bunch of caged animals. I mean the way there was this boundary that we couldn't cross to go to them, and that they couldn't cross to leave. Like they had to stay behind it, both for protection and so we could stand there and gawk at them! Even the way we were sort of swooping in on them like a bunch of vultures on meat, they were sooo exhausted after the very late (nearly 7hr) concert, probably had NO sleep in order to catch the flight, and just wanted to go home, but there we were, not prepared to give them any peace, treating them much like (and I'm sure they felt like) a bunch of caged animals... Even the way Rani was so about to walk out on her own mission, and the way she completely stopped short when she saw us. I mean, just by standing there to see them we actually restricted them from doing what they wanted to do! They had to stand there while we gawked at them, while they waited for Amitji to decide what to do - parade like a bunch of circus animals when they were already exhausted enough from that kinda "performing", or take their own inner route and disappoint us this once. 

Infact it so upsets me, the thought of what Hrithik and Suzanne saw when they looked at us, possibly a mob of people who were there simply to cause a disruption to their already exhausted lives, that I feel like writing to him just to apologise. Really, I feel seriously bad that that small group of us that simply wanted to see them, were the cause of them having to change plans and not do things the way they wanted to. For that matter now I feel bad about taking the photo cos I remember other Dufans here who've met him saying that he doesn't allow photos by himself - does Suzanne with him count? - I knew that and yet I took it, well who was thinking about that then! 

Actually it was hard to tell by just looking at him, without having heard exactly what he was saying to Suzanne, if he was as unimpressed as Amitji. Maybe they were all simply willing to let Amitji decide and do as he said, cos the look on his face wasn't really negative in any way. Maybe a little wary? Considering he did go back in when we converged on the door, and he did stay there waiting for the others to decide what to do. Still I think the look on Hrithik's face was more indifferent, a sort of "What do you think we should do? Dunno" Or "lets just go, there aren't THAT many of them, its not so bad, we've seen worse, lets just go". But then he didn't seem sure... it was maybe like he was looking at us and trying to figure out if we were the type that would get hysterical and push and shove and manhandle them (he's had such a experience in IIFA 2001 where people actually tore his jacket) I dunno, gosh I can still remember that look, I swear it felt like he was looking at ME, how I wish I could've read his mind... And the fact that they did decide to go another way makes me think, when he looked at us (me) at that moment, did he really see a mob of people (a person) who would cause them any harm or fear in any way... That's what I kept wondering everytime I looked myself in the mirror, how could he have come to that conclusion, did we really look that threatening... (How could he seriously have seen a threat in my innocent face! : ) ) Weird emotions huh! 

I mean, they made us move back with the assurance that they'd come through, got us so excited, and then they just left! Without us even seeing them LEAVE!! I mean really! And believe me I UNDERSTAND! I DO! Even the night before while I was going through it all in my mind, struggling to sleep, I had very honestly considered how it'd be for them. Having had at MOST about 3-4hrs sleep, (and even that was unlikely), after a exhaustive previous 2 days consisting of the 8 hr flight from Mumbai, another flight to Durban, probably immediate and non-stop rehearsals, and finally a VERY long concert, all one after the other, and now another flight to Joburg. After all that within little more than 48 hrs they were guaranteed to be thoroughly pooped! And at that time, of all times in the world, we were going to bother them with our desperate and excited wish to see them! I knew they'd be absolutely guaranteed to be in NO mood for it! I certainly wouldn't be, and I totally understood. But just getting to see them calmly and quietly was enough for us! Infact maybe that's why I didn't behave hysterically (compared to IIFA, BELIEVE me, I was well in control of my emotions! HA! HA!) But still, what was devastating was that we co-operated when the security asked us to move back and if we hadn't so obediently co-operated then we could've at LEAST SEEN all of them at least from a short distance, just a few metres away! There's no way we could've done them any harm from there! I mean, no one was as much as screaming! We WERE being considerate to their state of minds but it was still a once in a lifetime opportunity for some of us to even catch a glimpse of people like them, to just be in their presence for a little while, especially those of us who couldn't make it to the concert... Oh well. 

After we moved back, while we waited there and the crowd began to gather more people, some white people came up and a lady asked "Is someone important coming through?" And we said yes, and she asked "Who, is it Mandela?" HA! HA! HA! And we all laughed! I was very tempted to say, no even MORE important than Mandela! HA! HA! HA! And you know what, while we were waiting there this other fan who was there to stargaze told us that they'd come to the airport when the stars arrived in SA before the concert too, but the stars hadn't come out! So nobody got to see them before they reached Durban! In other words, even IF I had got Ameeta's message in time, to go to the airport to watch them arrive from Mumbai, we wouldn't have seen them ANYWAY! It would've been a complete waste of a trip! AND MAYBE the disappointment of that trip would've meant my not being allowed to go again "just in case" this time, when they were leaving SA! I mean WOW!!! When I heard this woman tell us this I almost screamed "MY GOSH! I'd said that it was meant to be that I missed Ameeta's first message, but saw the second one in time!!!" TALK ABOUT MEANT TO BE!!! That's bloody INCREDIBLE I tell yOU!!! WOW!! Its like it all works out just for me! Its AWESOME!!!! : )

And in my mind it was Even BETTER than if I'd got to go to the concert! It was only a few minutes yes but he was sooo close and sooo real! Even with a relatively expensive ticket I'd have seen them small or on the big screen, in which case, whats the difference from TV? Ok there's that atmosphere, but believe me it was a pretty awesome atmosphere at the airport too! And anyway at the concert they're still PERFORMING, still trying to be people that they think we want to see, the INCREDIBLE PLEASURE at the airport was in seeing them REAL. Absolutely and utterly as normal and ordinary as us. As difficult as it was to digest that this person and the person on screen were the same person, It felt AMAZING to be able to "reach" him like that, to feel that they're just like me, to feel a connection with this perfectly normal fellow human. It was AWESOME! It makes me feel closer to him!
: ) 

AH I feel BLESSED I tell you! I was awestruck for days afterwards!! It happened to me! Again! I was standing there in front of Hrithik Roshan, for sooo long! The feeling of being in his presence! Gosh! God knows HOW MUCH it means to me cos I've said it before but still can't really explain how much! That man means more to me than I can explain! A little piece of heaven... My angel... PURE PURE MAGIC I tell you! I can still feel it! I can't believe its happened to me again! They NEVER had to come out at all! They did, of all people Hrithik first, almost FOR ME! GOSH! Its BEYOND words! THANK YOU GOD! I mean... WOW YAAR! Sigh.... :D :D :D