Source: Masala Magazine
Date: September 15, 2005
Typed by: Vani
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Muscled on the outside but mush on the inside, Hrithik gives Masala! one of the most honest interviews of his life, speaking on devotion and his dearest darling- Sussanne!
He's the heartthrob of so many but his heart clearly beats in one direction- Sussanne's! Now married for four years and still learning, he's excited to talk about his wife and the special relationship they share. Here's for all those married or about-to-be, as the silver screen star proves he's down to earth and grounded where his priorities are concerned.
Busy completing the shooting of Krrish, it was not easy to get a hold of him. But as he always honors his commitments, he made an extra effort to meet Masala!
This is Hrithik then, in a no-holds-barred interview about his personal life!
Is it true that the scene in Kaho Na Pyaar Hai, where you spot Amisha Patel in a car at a traffic light, was inspired by your real life encounter with Sussanne?
No, its not inspired by that, but it's a weird coincidence. My father just decided on it as an interesting scene; at that time he didn't even know I was going out with Sussanne! But yes, this did actually happen. I was going home and my car stopped at the Juhu garden signal, where her car stopped across from mine. We noticed each other, stole glances at one another and then our cars were together all the way, till we reached our respective homes. But thought I found her pretty I was too shy to do anything about it and I thought that was it.
I knew of course that she was the daughter of Zarine and Sanjay Khan. Sussanne as a kid used to come to play in our building with her friends. But now, after the traffic signal incident, I was very nervous!
I really didn't know she was interested in me. We had a mutual friend whom she spoke to about me and I had spoken to him about her too. After which she made the first move and called me, I was just too shy! We took it from there on.
What is it about Sussanne that made you feel you could spend your life with her?
Well a mix of so many things make someone you love. I just felt I had found the person whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And I took a year to be really sure of this. I took a year to decide that I wanted to be married to her. And at the end of that year, I knew that I wasn't wrong. She was the one person with whom I could totally be myself. I did not have to do anything specific to enjoy being with her- we could just be. It's not like we had to even make conversation- we could be silent and yet enjoy being in each other's company. I did not need to impress her…
And we were also very sure, since we had dated for six years. Now we have been married for a whole four years!
Has life changed after marriage? What has Sussanne added to your life?
Well to be honest, I don't know how I ever survived without her before she came into my life. I can't seem to remember pre-Sussanne days too well. When I look back I can't even say this is what my life would be without her. I think she had added to my life in every way. I look at it, and I would be totally incomplete without her.
But most bachelors rue the fact that they love their bachelorhood?
Well I don't understand why they do. Then they should remain bachelors…Whatever works for them. But if you decide to get married, you should be very sure of that, that is what you want, as I said earlier.
Getting back to your earlier question, when I think about it, we didn't really know what love was while we were going around. Because it's after you actually live together that you really get to know your partner. In the first year of marriage I thought, 'This is love, what we felt earlier wasn't'. Then during the second year I thought 'No, this is love', when I discovered more about her. Now it's four years- the bond keeps growing and it's truly beautiful. Not for a moment in my life have I or do I regret being married to this wonderful lady.
How much time do you get to spend with her, given your career being so demanding?
Well, when I am not working we do almost everything together; she accompanies me everywhere and has the right to demand my time on anything she finds important. I take her advice on every single thing, since she has this knack of putting her finger on the right solutions. And as far as responsibilities go, we share them all- from household to travel plans. See the thing is, never should only one person try to exercise control over everything, it should be shared.
You really seem to have your pulse on marriage and how it works? What taught you so much about this institution?
I'm not claiming to be any kind of expert. We do have our share of disagreements too. But the one thing is to get over them and look ahead. I guess you look around you and see the way things work out or don't in other peoples marriage and you strive to learn from those examples. As it is we live in a tough world, with a lot of pressure. So the one relationship where you can totally be yourself is important and you have to hold on to that, because that is what is real.
Would you say your parents are responsible for inculcating these values in you?
Well, you definitely are a product of your upbringing and the values that are taught to you. But no one can come up with foolproof guidelines- in marriage you have to figure out what works best for you. Yes, I would credit my parents for the way they have made us feel as kids. We never lacked anything, and our home has always been a happy one. I guess subconsciously you imbibe at least 90% from your home ambience, without it being thrust in your face. So yes I do have my parents to thank to a large extent and Sussanne's parents too, for all that they have taught her and the way they bought her up in her former years.
You come across the most beautiful women. Is fidelity something you work hard at?
No, I disagree. Fidelity is not something you have to work at. It should just exist, with 100% honesty levels between husband and wife. This is something Sussanne and I share. Even if I am attracted to someone, I tell her. In the sense if I come across someone, I actually tell her 'she's really pretty' or 'she's quite hot'. But it does not go beyond that because whomever they may be, they don't match up to my wife and what we have. Remember, you have made a commitment for life- you have sworn to honor her for life. I look at it this way; you have made a promise, which you have to live up to. I'm not saying I'm against people breaking up, it happens and people shouldn't be unhappy, but honor your wife.
What happens if you get attracted to someone, how do you deal with it?
It really depends on what is important. I know people talk about the forbidden fruit etc, but there's something called fighting feeling which is temporary. In the end it's not worth it. Yes, I might even flirt, be charming, enjoy the moment but I wont cross the line. See, my wife has a lot to do with the way I think too. She gives me total freedom and trusts me, so there's no question of the forbidden fruit. And really people who give the temporary moment so much importance are suckers for drama.
Yea, I agree that attraction could happen if a wife pushes her husband too much but Sussanne completely understands me.
I also enjoy the fact that if she sees I want to be on my own, she will let me be. I can be home and yet doing my own thing and she won't interfere.
As much as she pampers you, do you pamper her?
Well, I definitely fall short in this department; she does much more than I do! She never lets me leave the house without a hug and that makes me feel very special. I might not remember when I'm in a hurry but she never forgets. No, I don't match up!
Can you tell us things you do to make her feel special?
I don't know if giving elaborate gifts is the answer to making someone feel special…I do give her gifts because she is my wife. But I think it's the little things that go towards showing that you really care. So sometimes on my way back from work, I stop at a shop and pick her up a Cadbury Five-Star bar or just one African Daisy. See those were the first gifts I gave her at a time when I couldn't afford better! And I think these gestures are what makes her happy. It brings back so many memories for us.
What is the best thing Sussanne has ever said to you or about you?
It's not any particular thing she has said but it's how she shows her loyalty- which is a strong quality in her. I have seen this happen and I am still amazed by it. If someone says anything wrong about me, I pity them! That's when this demure, petite woman suddenly turns into a ferocious lioness! The transformation is quite scary…She'll go at them like a wild animal, which is otherwise hard to believe.
How would you rate yourself as a husband?
I think I'd give myself about six on 10!
What are the similarities and differences between you and Sussanne- does she detest anything about you?
I think the fact that everything is centered around my work, when I'm too involved with it. And she tries real hard to make me relax. She has to get me to relax by sitting down and discussing other things with me, while I'm too preoccupied with one thing.
Where we're poles apart is that I can be really messy about the way I leave my things all over the place. I'm now learning from her to be neater! She's the absolute opposite, she likes everything in place. Of course she carries that to another level too…To give you an example, when it's time for us to go to bed at night. And before we turn out the lights, she'll get out of her side of the bed and come all the way around to mind, tidy my bedside table and only then will she go to sleep! And I'm like 'Sussanne, why do you have to do this? We're only going to sleep- no one's coming in here to see how neat things are! But that's her and I don't and can't argue much about it…
Thanks Hrithik, you've been very patient considering you're so hard pressed for time!
Not at all. I've enjoyed doing this interview. After a long time, it gave me a lot to think about. And even while we've been speaking, I've learnt and reviewed so much about myself, and honestly that has been a great experience!