How the Roshans Keep It Going!

Published On: 2012-05-01

Author: unknown

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How the Roshans Keep It Going!


Source: Cine Blitz
Article Submitted By: Sarah (Kajol-Mania.Net)
Typed by: Vanita


With patience, trust and faith, even the most flawed relationships can weather the storm, feels Hrithik Roshan. 

To love, honor and protect…these are the lifelong vows that the Roshan family has made to one another. It’s a commitment so strong that even the most tempestuous times have been unable to break. In this season of troubled marriages, where bonds and ties are a penny’s worth, Hrithik reveals perhaps for time first time ever, the degree to which his own parents have put a premium on family ties, staking everything just to be together as a unit. This is a family, which is one other’s greatest critic- and greatest friend. 

Pinkie Roshan had once told us, “My family is very self sufficient. We don’t depend upon anyone but ourselves. Nobody can come between us!” And it’s in the small gestures, that this togetherness demonstrates itself. It is in the moving, 10-minute film that Hrithik made on his parents on the occasion of their wedding anniversary. It’s demonstrated in Pinkie and Rakesh Roshan insisting on giving a together-interview on their kids instead of the solo interviews we were demanding from them. It’s in Hrithik’s valiantly rising to his father’s defense each time an accusation has been made about Rakesh Roshan.

Hrithik himself is reluctant to speak on the subject of this well-adjusted family. He is apprehensive that it will make his family appear too good to be true. “It’s not like our family has not gone through its difficult times,” he says. “But there has been an unwritten, undemonstrated pact and an understanding between all of us, that we will be together, come what may.

According to Hrithik, it’s luck and destiny that has kept his family together. “It’s something to be relieved about; not proud of,” he muses, displaying his guardedness and protectiveness of something obviously precious to him. “People say that film families are more prone to succumbing pressures. I really don’t know the pressures they are talking about, because I have never seen these so-called pressures straining the bonds in our family. In fact, whenever there have been troubled times, the bonds have only grown more strong. For me, it’s an alien thought that pressures can break up a marriage or make people drift apart. As a child and now as a husband, I have personally seen that it’s when we hit a rough patch we grow close together.” 

He shares some instances when his family has rallied together…”I remember clearly the time when I was barely 9 and our family had to move out of our apartment because we hadn’t paid our rent. But we took it in our stride. Dad moved to my grandmother’s house and Mom, Sunaina and I moved to Mom’s maternal house. There are many things you would want to control in your life but you cannot and that causes a lot of stress. It has little to do with fame and adulation as well,”

“Rumors and controversies are part and parcel of ac actors life. Very early on, I learnt that our jobs include good time and bad times. I don’t mean to romanticize the situation, but my family has seen plenty of bad times. When we were thrown out of our flat, and when dad finally managed to get a new place for us, we moved into a bare house with four walls and a fan. We slept on chatais for four months until we could get enough money to start buying furniture for the flat. Financial problems are one of the truths about this industry. We learnt to be intelligent and careful when the times were good so that we could tide over the bad times.”

Hrithik reveals that his father learnt the truth the hard way and warned his son about getting carried away by the illusion of success. “The high of success is so strong that it can make you feel invincible. It makes you feel that you will never ever be weak. But there can be no bigger illusion than success. My family has not been immune to these pressures but I have always seen my parents together and very strong. And I have never seen my mother talk about her problems outside the house. That shows a very strong character and it shows the trust, faith and loyalty to the person she is with.”

Sussanne Roshan nee Khan has been a well-appreciated member of the family even before she became the Roshan bride. Hrithik describes their bond as being almost mystical. “Neither Sussanne nor my family had to make any adjustments when she married me. It was as if a space had already been created for her and she came and filled it up. An element was missing in my family which Sussanne completed,” he smiles.

Not that this marriage is picture perfect. Immediately before Hrithik and Sussanne took their wedding vows, shocking stories of Hrithik-Kareena affair hit the headlines. There was a lot of talk about Sussanne being distraught over the supposed affair. Even at that point of time, though, Hrithik and Sussanne but up a brave fight. Looking back now, Hrithik laughs about that period. Something he didn’t do then, even going so far as to sue a fanzine for carrying damning stories. “Had Sussanne been affected by it, it would have affected me,” he explains. “But at that point of time rumors of my affair were diluted by stories of the riots that had broken out in Nepal because I was supposed to have said something derogatory about their country. Also the whole issue of Dad and the underworld was still being discussed. Time healed everything. In any case, Sussanne and I both come from film families. We know how certain magazines operate. They are known to write and create rumors to sell their magazine. None of us really paid any attention. Sussanne and I have known each other for too long to let such things affect us. And it’s not true that Sussanne was distraught over the stories. Infact she was just the opposite. Anyone who knows Sussanne knows that she has her head firmly on her shoulders. She never reacts like this! We automatically trust each other rather than anyone else!”

He does admit having fights with Sussanne, though. Laughing, he gives an old fashioned look and says, “We’ve had the kind of rows that have seemed pretty major at that point of time. But the making up has been equally sweet,” he laughs. “And what’s life without fights? Everyone fights. It’s not normal if you don’t fight. It means that you are either indifferent or don’t care enough. There has to be a limit to your fight though, because it can get out of hand if you go overboard! The thing about Sussanne and me is that we’ve never had to force ourselves to do anything. That’s a definite sign that we share a healthy relationship. For us, it’s very natural to pull together when there is a crisis. There is no you or I, in our case. We are always ‘we’.” 

Hrithik has a theory he believes in. “If you and your partner are not evolving at the same pace, there could be problems. If one grows too much the gap could be insurmountable and difficult to bridge. That’s why we always make an effort to appraise each other of things the other doesn’t know of. Sussanne is such a talented interior designer and I am so proud of the work she does. I have no idea how she gets everything done. I don’t know where she gets her raw stock from, how she deals with her workers and contractors; I don’t know a thing about how she co-ordinates those huge projects she takes up. But I am proud of the talent that she has. In a lighter vein, she is a brain at geography whereas I don’t know one continent from another. So we have these little quizzes where I brush up on my geography and she tests me on my GK! It’s another matter that I always fail these tests,” he admits sheepishly, chuckling. 

In an industry where most actors have an interesting rags-to-riches kind of stories, Hrithik and his family hold on tenaciously to their roots of normal, ordinary folks in a not-so-normal \environment. They are just another close-knit Punjabi family doing their jobs. Hrithik realizes the grim truth about how success can wreak havoc but maintains that neither he nor his family has ever been over-awed by it. “It would be totally weird if my mother were to get up in the morning and start treating her son like a star! That just isn’t our attitude towards one another,” he says incredulously. “It just doesn’t make any sense to us to be like that. We are just doing a job, that’s all. None of us has ever confused the person with the public persona. I don’t think today’s generation really suffers from this problem. I think people accept us as we are: just flesh and blood people and not larger than life heroes! We are here to entertain, not to be invincible ourselves.”

Hrithik is a fervent advocate of the joint family system. In fact, the family shifted residence a lane down, just so that they could be with Hrithik’s grandparents. Now, as we ask him if he has to make some extra efforts to nurture relationships, he responds thoughtfully with, “You’re right. One doesn’t think so much about it though, because one is so busy. You tend to overlook and be neglectful of certain things. You could disappear from you family’s life for a month and no even realize it because you are so busy! It happens all the time with me and my grandparents. I have gone through that. Thank God they understand. I only have to meet them and apologize and they do forgive me. I do sense a sadness in them and that is much worse than a dressing gown because it makes me feel extremely guilty. In the immediate family, it is Sussanne who has to bear the brunt of my erratic schedules. But all it takes is a bar of chocolate on my way back home, to pacify her. I am very lucky that way!”

He makes a circle with his fingers clicking away saying, “Oari, oari, oari.” What’s that for? “Just a Parsi tradition to ward off the evil eye,” he says smiling. 

To all that he holds dear, we raise a toast and send up a prayer that nothing evil will ever touch this happy family.