For my 500th post, I always wanted to share with the rest of my new family, how I came to beiing a dufan! In the excitement of JA and Kites and numerous other functions and ads, I didn’t notice when that benchmark crossed so here I am now on a particularly emotional day, I am in duland (due to that cinthol ad which I can’t get out of my head)

I was in my early twenties and going along in life quite happily. I liked Hrithik when I saw him in, I thought he was cute and a damn good actor. I was a newlywed at the time and marital bliss just didn’t allow me to register anything beyond that!!!!

My dad was a fan and he particularly liked fiza- the dialogue that bowled my dad was when he said 'yeh log mujhe marne aa rahein hain. In ko kya pata ke inhi galiyon mein amaan ke moth bahut saal pehle ho chuk hai' (or something) my dad turned around to me and said 'kya baat hai is larke ki'

I remember that even when KMG came out, im was not a fan like I am now. I liked him no doubt but that was it then my life started to fall apart. I love my hubby with all my heart and soul but my second pregnancy was tough and I went into depression, and stayed there! My dad passed away, my mum in law passed away and I was stuck in a strange hole- I didn’t communicate well with my husband and thought of seriously giving it all up- life was too hard, a real struggle! I was too serious, angry and bitter. I turned towards my religion and found peace but things with my husband only got worse

Then this wonderful man named Hrithik roshan came into my life and that too through this equally wonderful forum. I used to visit planet bollywood and they gave a preview of Jodhaa Akbar. I was intrigued with the film. I goggled for more info on the film and the name of this site came to my notice. I visited and read some of the headlines. There was a lot about dhoom2 at the time- in my frustrations, I hadn’t seen a film for ages and was oblivious to this film. On YouTube, I saw the songs dhoom again, and dil lagana and I was totally hooked. Yes, Hrithik is stunning but it was something else that was so attractive- his innocence, charm and persona that got me

I visited your site again and started reading up about him- his attitude towards his life, his values, his marriage and I gradually started to find inspiration.

Like me, Hrithik also stammered as a child- I am still petrified to speak on a public stage, although I too have beaten the disease, and here was a man who lived his life on the public stage and was honest and open with his problem. This fascinated me and I started to learn that Hrithik actually walked what he spoke and preached. He talks about living and enjoying the present without being obsessed with the future- a problem that both he and I share. He claims that hrehaan changed his perspective; I have no doubt that Hrithik changed mine.

I find his marriage with Susaanne inspirational- he has loved one woman all his life and kept that alive. I love my husband but found it impossible to tell him that. I saw their programme with simi and it reminded me of the love that I shared with my hubby and vowed to give it a chance. If Du could make it work- so could I. I have done that and now I and my hubby are closer than ever.

I then became a forum member.

Last year, my hubby was in Africa cause of his work. I took both the kids to UK and started living at my mum’s place for that year. More problems ensued with my sis in law and I decided that I would move out rather than create a problem for my brother. Literally the only one I had for support were my mum and you guys. I couldn’t tell my friends in Uk- family honour and all that. There was a time when I had applied for renting a house in the UK to move into as I waited for my husband to come back. My sis in law had gone to her parents and gave us the impression that she would not return unless I had gone. I was helpless- no father and no husband and now I felt like I was losing the roof over my head too. That night I was at an all time low- I couldn’t relax, couldn’t sleep as I worried whether I would get the house to rent or not.

That night I came to the forum. At the time, I did not post anything- I just sat on the sidelines and watched and soaked in the wonderful atmosphere. I was on the site till about 5 in the morning reading articles on Hrithik who by the time was a saviour. I would read my prayers and come to his words for support and all of yours too.

In the morning I found out that I had got the house. But for the first time in my life, I had not been full of anxiety or depression but had passed the time well- because of all of you and the man for whom we all come together- Du.

I set up house, lived there for 3 months and then thankfully my husband came back from his posting and we were reunited. But that time alone not only gave me strength as a person but also gave me a new family- my dufamily!

I come here a lot esp at night when I am free and in the early mornings- I love it! Despite some of my posts, my attraction to Hrithik is not a sexual one!!!! I respect the man he is, his integrity, his respect for others and his ideals by which he lives and which gave me a new lifeline too- literally. And yes it helps that he is drop dead gorgeous!!!!

I am no longer angry, bitter or depressed. Yes, I suffer from stress but that is more to do with my year alone than anything else. I take life as it comes, am indebted to you all for accepting me as you have and the chats we have! My marriage is great and so is my life- thanks to God, all of you wonderful people and the man who has come to be an important part of my life- the DU!

And for those who managed to read this and reach the end of it- well done!!!

It is straight from my heart but I at least wanted to say a big THANK YOU in return for what you all have given me- without even knowing it!