Me, My son!

Source: Zee Premiere, August 2001
Scanned by: Sarah

Pinkie Roshan is what everyone dreams their mother should be. Stylish, elegant, graceful and yet very, very motherly and caring. She is one of those contented woman who is completely in tune with her surroundings and proud to be know as Rakesh Roshan's wife and Hrithik and Sunaina's mother. And yet she is no wallflower. She is very perceptive and eloquent with a rare flair for writing. She has not only penned her thoughts in prose and poetry but her favorite mode of communication with her son is through letters.

Here Pinkie Roshan profiles her son- Hrithik Roshan- heartthrob of the nation.

When I gave birth to my children, Sunaina and Hrithik, I was too young to respond to them. I was married when I was seventeen, I had my first child, Sunaina, at eighteen and Hrithik two years later. I was told that the whole family was ecstatic when Hrithik was born. As you know most people in India celebrate the birth of a son because he is the one who carries on the fathers name. It was only when I saw everyone around me celebrating did I feel very happy.

Hrithik was a very fair child with the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen and a sharp nose. Newborn children change everyday. So one cannot distinguish one child from another, they all look alike, but Hrithik had distinct features.

Both Sunaina and Hrithik and equally dear to me. They are my joy and pride. Since my husband was struggling hard to make it in his career he had very little time with the children. So with all the time in the world at my disposal I looked after the kids. I disciplined them more than my husband. In his own way he played an important role in bringing them up. Like, if he felt that one of them was misbehaving he would correct them with a stern word. Since he scolded them rarely, his words had greater weight, whereas I was seen as a nagging mother. In the early years Rakesh would be fast asleep when the children left for school and they would be asleep when he returned home at night. So the smallest decisions pertaining to the children had to be made by me. Maybe this is the reason why the children are closer to me.

My daughter who is not married and has children still loves the idea of confiding in me and so does my son. But there is one difference. Sunaina and I can talk for hours on our problems, but Hrithik and I relate to each other better either through my eyes or through letters rather than a face-to-face talk because with growing children you have to understand their temperament and talk to them. If I am upset with him about something I convey it through a letter, so does he when he's upset. And that's the way we communicate with each other in the house. We never talk rashly but always sort out things coolly. But Hrithik has never confided in me as much as Sunaina has. He always kept things to himself rather than discussing it with anyone. I have preserved all of Hrithik's letters from his childhood. That's my hobby. I have letter and cards of my father, husband and friends collected through the years. My drawer is full of letters; once in a while they take me down memory lane.

Hrithik use to spend a lot of time with my father in his early years. He got into the habit of reading every night before sleeping with my father. In the beginning he used to read magazines like Newsweek and Time and then later he read more educative stuff…as a child Hrithik was a loner, he loved to be on his own with his toys. He had many friends in school and outside. They were a group of 10-14 boys. They've been together from the age of ten. They are friends even now. They were the only ones to attend his marriage last December.

Hrithik was always brilliant in studies but he was never interested in extracurricular activities like drama, debates etc. But he was extremely good at anything to do with science, like experiments.

Everybody has been talking about Hrithik as a shy and sensitive boy but I really don't know. Sensitive he is but he was never shy of dancing in front of two hundred people.

Small things made him happy and small things hurt him very badly too. Like if the four of us went for an outing, he would be thrilled. He was very attached to the family and he always brought people closer as we lived in a joint family. If ever there was a misunderstanding he would try to sort things out. He could never see hurt in anyone's eyes nor would he hurt a fly. Invariably, it was I who took the two kids on a holiday because their father was always busy with shootings. Once when we were in New York, I broke the news to the children that their papa would be joining us. I think that was Hrithik's happiest moment. I have never seen such joy on his face. He missed his father a lot and would always complain to me about it, "Why cant papa come with us for the holidays?" he would keep asking.

Hrithik was never a mischievous as a child, though he played pranks occasionally. I remember one incident when he literally drove me crazy. We were living in a terrace apartment those days. Once I had locked my room and gone out. When I came back I didn't find Hrithik in the house though I was told that both he and my daughter had returned from school. We searched for him for nearly 3 hours and in sheer desperation I called Rakesh and told him that our son was lost and that he should complain to the police. Seeing me howling all our neighbors and friends came together to console me. Then suddenly we found him! He stepped out of a small window in my room, which opened to the terrace, which I had forgotten to shut while locking my room.

Another incident I remember was when the three of us had gone on a holiday to Bangkok. And he played a very bad prank on me. He called up my room in the hotel and spoke in typical Thai language, "This hotel is on fire, evacuate immediately." I put the phone down, collected our passports, and ran down with my daughter. In a hurry she dropped one of her lenses on the staircase. When we came down to the lobby everything seemed normal. We wondered who could have called us. That's when Hrithik told me it was just a joke! I didn't know what to do with him. But I didn't punish him. I never did. I would just glare at him and that was it. He knew he had done something wrong. I later told him never to do that again.

Hrithik was never a demanding child. Strangely, the only thing he values was his rubber toy. He never asked me for anything else. The only thing he asked for something was when he was eleven. He wanted me to buy him a computer. But since at the time I knew little about computers, I didn't buy it. Now when he has it he has no time to use it. Instead I use it.

My children have grasped and understood whatever values I have tried to instill in them and they are living by it. I thank God for it. Today when people tell me that Hrithik comes across as a disciplined, well brought up boy with the right values, I feel very proud. I firmly believe that your children watch you closely all the time and learn from you behavior and actions. They observe how you treat your staff and behave with your friends, every little thing.

Both Sunaina and Hrithik were not spoilt or pampered during their formative years. They were unaffected by films and film personalities. They never realized that they themselves were star children. Yes, I also made a conscious effort not to spoil them of pamper them, but all their basic needs were taken care of.

I always knew that Hrithik wanted to be an actor. Six years ago he showed me a cassette of his, where he had enacted different roles, that of an alcoholic, a drug addict, a husband etc. there was also a scene from a Raj Kapoor film. At the end of it I had tears in my eyes. When he asked me what I thought of him I told him that my reaction was there for him to see. I knew he would become an actor and a good one at that. But I didn't discourage him or encourage him. I left it to destiny. Of course as a mother, I too had certain dreams and aspirations pertaining to my son. One of them was that he should go abroad for higher studies.

The first time I came to know about Sussanne was when one-day Hrithik came to my bedroom and sat down looking very grim. I realized that something was wrong, and asked him gentry, "What is bothering you, Duggu?" Initially he wouldn't open up. After about ten minutes he started talking. He told me seriously, 'Mom I have to tell you something. I am in love with a girl and her name is Sussanne.' I reacted very positively since I was happy for him and said, "But how come you are so sad while breaking this good news?" Then he said to me even more seriously, "No, Mom, its not so simple. Sussanne is a Muslim." I asked him cautiously, "Does it bother you?" When Hrithik replied in a negative I said, "When it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me either."

He never bought her home to meet me. The first time I saw her was at our 21st wedding anniversary party. He had invited all his friends and Sussanne was there too. I remember trying to ask his friends which one of the girls was Sussanne. I never had any regrets that Hrithik chose Sussanne. Our daughter too had a love marriage and we had no problems about it. With time, parents have to change and it the kids are happy with the choice the parent should be too.

Contrary to the gossip and speculations, Hrithik chose to marry at the right time. People ask me if the mother-son equation has changed after Hrithik became a star. Or do I look at him in awe? My answer is: No way! I still feel protective towards him, worry and fuss about him like I always did, even correct him when I feel I should. It's the natural instinct of a mother. I do get worried when his name is dragged into controversies but he has to learn to handle himself and be more responsible since it's a jungle out there and be ready to defend himself.


I like the way he handled his work and so many people with so much ease. Even when he is exhausted he always sports a smile especially when he meets children whoa re his greatest fans.
I thank God for everything he has given me. Of course I do miss my son especially when he is away on outdoors for long periods and my daughter who is married and gone. I feel happy for them. Hrithik, I feel has come into this world on a mission and he has to complete it to the best of his ability. I don't think Rakesh or I should be complaining about his absence from our birthday parties or other such events. Since I am married to an actor it is easier for me to understand a son who is also an actor.

Hrithik's Best Qualities

-He is caring but never shows it
-He is sensitive but pretends to be stern
-He is very giving by nature
-He hates pettiness. He does not want to discuss petty things
-He believes that every human being is good and gives everyone the benefit of doubt
-He does a lot of charity but never lets us know about it. We come to know through others
-He is very passionate about working out in the gym

Hrithik's worst qualities

-His temper. It comes once in a day but it's bad!
-He is very stubborn
-He often says yes then forgets
-He can finish a meal in five minutes. For the last twenty-five years, I have been trying to teach him to chew his food
-He wants to be a perfectionist in everything he does, be it a dance, a step, a dialogue or an act on stage. Though it's a good trait, he often puts too much pressure on himself
-He tends to get too much into what he is doing and ignores everything else including his health. It often exhausts him.